25/03/2015 3 By drnadeem

Memories are all that are left after a dear one departs on their journey.. be it a worldly one or the final journey.

Is it only the number of memories that denote the closeness of a relationship?

A day after we buried our mother we sat reminiscing, trying to hold on to her as long as possible if not in the material dimension at least in the ethereal mind dimension. Everyone recollecting pleasant conversations, actions and past events. Even the insignificant events gaining a certain gravitas by the richness of recollection. I had nothing to contribute. Having left  home, aged 18 and progressively moving away in the physical realm did I also create a gulf emotionally. In  later years this gulf widened due to her failing speech and our inability to communicate. How difficult it is to connect with someone if the non-verbal cues are missing. We tried a few times to see each other through the marvels of technology through Skype and even though we could see each other, there was still a lack!

Our memories are a play back of our experiences as we perceive them. Without the experience of relating how can we  have memories?

I was left with a feeling of lack, a void! Oh, how good it is to have experienced the bitterness and sweetness of a relationship! As, what I noticed was the recollections were mainly of sweet pleasant experiences. A conscious effort to erase all unpleasant, negative and bitter experiences or at least embellish them or distort them to make them appear positive and pleasant.

All I could do is to explore, dig deep inside my mind for scraps of experiences that I could recollect as memories. My box of memories had a meager hoard, whereas my siblings had a rich tapestry of memories as they had more experiences with her, both bad and good.

Chasing after our own happiness we sometimes ignore the importance of our close relationships. Departed loved ones don’t come back, we have only one life and one chance to relate with our close ones, we should take this opportunity to relate with compassion and love, so that we can  have material to recollect and connect to them after they have gone!

Lacking the experiences, which I could recollect and reminisce I prayed and meditated to find inner peace and “HOME”

Do our prayers and meditations help us to connect with the departed soul? Do they help the departed soul on it’s onward journey as many religions state? Or do they only help the ones that are  left behind? Does it really matter who it really helps!